| Momdukes | November 16, 2010 |
When I hear gunshots, I get on the phone. I call each one of my family members and I don’t stop until everyone responds or I know where they are.’ Whoever I know is out, I call to make sure they're OK,''
On July 6, 2008 my life changed. As a Mother who raised three children. My baby boy, 32 years old, was robbed and brutally murdered by someone he thought was his friend in Edgemoor while walking his dog. They took away my baby boy, they took away a good brother, and most importantly they took away a good Dad from his five children. Yes I am still angry? I don’t sleep the same, anymore. I don’t wake up the same, anymore. I lay awake praying or crying every day. I watch his home videos and slideshows continuously. I miss his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor, the way he fathered and loved his children with such passion and pride, the way he touched everybody he knew his jovial demeanor, the out of the blue phone calls when he would just make me laugh. The way he would make up names for everybody because he thought that was what they should be named. The way he would make up words to song he was singing because he didn’t know the real words. But now he's gone out of our lives.
There is an emptiness that just cannot be explained.
Who could ever imagine feeling this way?
I PROUDLY wear his picture on T-shirts bearing the date Stanley “Savon” Jones was born — and the date he was murdered because these shirts serve a purpose for me. I believe wearing these shirts helps keep Stanley’s memory alive. “We’ve lost so many friends to senseless violence, if I can show my face and wear my T-shirt, then that’s what it is. That’s what Stanley deserved. I’m not a selfish person. I do this for every single black family that still bears the pain and the emotion.
My family still doesn’t have all the answers. ”Like so many families in Wilmington who have lost loved ones to murder in recent years, we are still seeking answers, as well as closure.
Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream, like many of us I have one too, I dream Peaceful tomorrows.
I dream that one day we must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means.
"Black-on-Black Crime" is having a devastating impact on our race, its racial overtones have made it difficult to address or even discuss. But discuss we must. We must stop the racial hatred of ourselves. We must stop being race traitors. Race traitors sell drugs to our Black people, race traitors steal from other Blacks, race traitors hurt other Black people, race traitors disrespect their elders, and race traitors kill other Black people. We must stop being a traitor to one another. Its madness.
"Black-on-Black Crime" is having a devastating impact on our race, its racial overtones have made it difficult to address or even discuss.
We have a responsibility to lead the next generation.
It is up to us to change the mentality of our youths today and guide them into a more promising future. Children learn by example and mimic what they see and hear. Unfortunately, there are so many of our black youths that reside in underserved communities, don't have good role models to idealize and duplicate their lifestyles after. The responsibility starts within the home, but it most certainly does not end there. We must take precaution in the way we convey our messages everywhere, in the school system, in the music we make, the television shows and movies we create, the books we write, the way we portray ourselves in the media and on the streets and various other sources that children have access to.
Our black children really need help (our help)! They want our affection and most of all, our attention. I know it’s hard. It is not possible to watch our child every second of the day, but we shouldn't think the impossible. We have to think about what we can and will do to make a difference in the black youth’s lives. We have to stay in tuned with our children's whereabouts, know who their acquaintances are, what they are learning in school and how well they are doing academically, behaviorally and emotionally. This is both reasonable and doable. What excuse can we find to not be involved! We owe them that much (in the very least) and it doesn't take a miracle to make it happen. It takes willingness, courage, love and common decency from people who care.
The statistics tell a tragic story. According to federal crime figures, homicide is the leading cause of death among African-American males aged 15 to 34. They also indicate that between 1976 and 2004, 94 percent of black murder victims were killed by black offenders.
Statistics also show that Black-on-Black crime has been the leading cause of death among black males and the second leading cause of death for black females in this century. This is a critical issue and one that demands our attention and needs to continue to be addressed until it has ceased! It has manifested itself as if it were a communicable disease that has just spread so rapidly. Just as it has taken years to become this large, it may possibly take that many more years to combat such a huge issue, IF we don’t show concern and responsibility now.
This replica of a disease, if you will, has taken the lives of an astounding and astronomical number of too, too many. However, like any other disease, it is imperative that we educate and encourage a different mind-set. It is equally important that we walk and talk the language of self-love, self-worth, self-pride and self-esteem, which is a universal language by the way; and have that take our community by storm as if it were the latest epidemic. There is lack of hope at all levels within the black community, but when we love and respect ourselves, we can instill the same values in our children and allow them to pass it on to theirs.
We can’t allow this vicious cycle to go on to his children, to our children, and our children’s children. no more than we continue to tolerate racial profiling, police brutality, high school shootings, terrorist acts, hate crimes or putting up with any other insidious behaviors. It's pretty simple if you think about it. Every cause has an effect. The causes here are multiple. The cause is a lack of moral foundation, ignorance, apathy, selfishness and greed. Naturally, there are serious risks involved because the criminal element won't go away without a fight. It will take courage and a willingness to suffer possible retaliation if we are to combat this violence head on. This task will take time, hard work, involve risks and require a persistent grassroots movement but I believe it can be done. It starts in the home. These bad characters didn't just appear out of nowhere. They're somebody's children, too.
It is the manner in which our children learn, the way they view themselves and their surroundings, the knowledge that help is not readily accessible to them at times and not having the resources to connect to to become a part of a solid family.
The effect is the crimes committed because of not knowing how to deal with the cause(s). Giving our children other avenues to vent about their frustrations, taking the time to realize their wants and needs, providing guidance to veer them away from their unwanted circumstances and being a positive re-enforcement in their young lives is a very good start! And I know it’s not going to be easy. But if we don't give our children time, the system most definitely will.
My sisters and brothers I appeal to you the blood in our bodies and the prayers of our souls have brought us a future, free from shame and ignorance. We owe no racial dept to history. We are the best we have. We are ALL we have. We are what we have become.
As a black woman I am very critical of my culture, not because I look down on it, but because I have high expectations for myself and others of my culture. Without cultural pride and preservation, it is difficult for any community or culture to adequately survive. We have so many dragons to slay, poverty, drugs, poor parenting and lack of education, they are just as dangerous to the community as any person ever could be. This is mainly because these things are directly responsible for producing our children.
We are definitely living in the days foretold of in St Matthew 24:12-Where it states that and because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. And it takes a cold person to commit murder. Are we living in such a day of iniquity that awful occurrences like these will be commonplace?
I Love my Family, I Love my people, and I am proud of my heritage. However; senseless killings like these makes me wonder, whatever happened to our black pride…our Moms and Dads always had it. How many of our sisters and brothers are departing from the genuine family values of old?
I strongly believe that, one day, we will be held accountable for the actions or lack thereof for protecting our children, and we will run out of excuses.
Think of this message in the spirit of peace.
I leave you all in the spirit of love and most importantly, I leave you all in the spirit of unity. Because if we're unified, there's nothing we cannot do.
Let's start from today.
Peace and Blessings
